I know I haven’t been blogging of late. Actually, I haven’t written anything in a long time.
Initially the reason for not being to write was that I was incredibly busy recently. My wonderful cousin is having a baby soon, and I was busy planning her entire baby shower. All my preparations, for what I hope will be a grand and fun baby shower, are now complete and I am just waiting for the actual day to throw the party.
The main reason for not writing though is that I don’t find myself in the right frame of mind to write. Once again complications have arisen in my already nasty separation/divorce process. And although I seem fine on the surface, I don’t feel so good mentally and emotionally. I can’t seem to concentrate on and enjoy the things I love doing in my alone time.
I think of topics I want to write about and find myself unable to type a word. I have also kind of given up on reading ‘The Happiness Project’.
Actually… If I am really honest, I gave up on that book a while ago. I reached Chapter 2, read the first page of the chapter, put down the book and haven’t been able to pick it up again. Chapter 2, called ‘Remember Love’, is about the author’s decision to find more happiness and satisfaction out of an already happy and loving marriage.
Maybe it’s just me, but that’s the last thing a person going through a divorce wants to read about. Especially a person who fought hard, day and night, to make her marriage work; happy, full of love and respect. And failed. Not because she gave up or didn’t do enough. But because her partner never made an effort himself; or appreciated hers.
I need to find my way out of this funk. Maybe I just need to force myself to write, like I did today. It soothes me.